I’m that fiance that buys her fiance tickets to see his all-time favorite band/man crush for his birthday…only to realize later that the concert date falls on our 1 year anniversary of getting engaged.

I unintentionally became the best. fiance. ever.

Recently there have been some burglaries/attempted burglaries through basement windows around our neighborhood. In true mother fashion, she quadruple-forwarded (Fwd: FW: FW: Fwd:) me an email about the recent break-ins.

But not before she prefaced the email with:

“Not to scare you but do be careful.

Love you.”

I live in the basement and I sufficiently scurred out of my mind.

Me: Our application for the rental got approved! We have a place to live!

Mom: Wonderful news! I picked up milk =)

….?????